Process Archives | Dirt Lease https://dirtlease.com/category/process/ Idiot-Proofing the Mobile Home Park Business One Idiot at a Time Sun, 22 Mar 2026 16:50:23 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.9.4 171109800 Reasonable People https://dirtlease.com/reasonable-people/ https://dirtlease.com/reasonable-people/#respond Sun, 22 Mar 2026 16:50:03 +0000 https://dirtlease.com/?p=2014 In the Medias Res, the Bartender placed six half-filled pints of Guinness on a tray.  Lined up in front of the pint glasses, like pawns in front of higher-order chess pieces, were six shot glasses filled with milky liquid.  The Bartender twitched her tail feathers the way she did when she wanted tips. ‘Hey’, the …

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]]> https://dirtlease.com/reasonable-people/feed/ 0 2014 Grass Mud Horse https://dirtlease.com/grass-mud-horse/ Tue, 03 Mar 2026 19:36:44 +0000 https://dirtlease.com/?p=2010 ‘The Comptroller calls me ‘Tempura’’, the Founder said.  He was sitting behind his desk with his hands underneath the keyboard shelf.  A large bruise extended from the bridge of his nose to the crow’s feet on his right eye.  ‘Why is that’, AP asked. ‘She likes me lightly battered.’ AP threw a side-glance at Operations.  …

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]]> 2010 Timbits https://dirtlease.com/timbits/ Fri, 14 Nov 2025 16:07:07 +0000 https://dirtlease.com/?p=1934 The Founder had his feet on the desk and was describing a journey he had recently taken to Legal.  ‘The soundtrack is essential’, he said.  ‘It guides the experience.’ A commotion broke out on the trading floor.  The Baker Brothers, it appeared, had begun to trim their portfolio.  They were selling off their smaller parks …

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]]> 1934 The Wilderness of Mirrors https://dirtlease.com/the-wilderness-of-mirrors/ https://dirtlease.com/the-wilderness-of-mirrors/#comments Sat, 09 Aug 2025 14:31:41 +0000 https://dirtlease.com/?p=1893 When Legal came into the office, the Founder had his feet on the desk and a grin on his face. ‘Looks like someone got some last night’, Legal said. ‘Look at this’, the Founder said.  He crackled the papers of a high-brow tabloid read primarily by educated Jews on the Upper West Side of Manhattan.  …

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]]> https://dirtlease.com/the-wilderness-of-mirrors/feed/ 2 1893 The Magic Eye https://dirtlease.com/the-magic-eye/ Fri, 13 Jun 2025 17:53:51 +0000 https://dirtlease.com/?p=1883 When the Founder showed up at the Dirtlease office wearing wrap around shades and a baseball cap pulled low over his face, people spoke.  He exited the elevator, walked straight to his office, shut the door and turned his back on the floor without even grunting when his assistant asked him how he was.  The …

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]]> 1883 The Lottery https://dirtlease.com/the-lottery/ Tue, 11 Feb 2025 15:06:03 +0000 https://dirtlease.com/?p=1815 At Dirtlease headquarters, the morning of June 27th was clear and sunny, with the smell of New Jersey in the air.  In the break room, the bean bag chairs were occupied, the red lights were at their dimmest, and someone had taken all the fidget spinners from the bucket near the door.  Sharp objects and …

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]]> 1815 Siobhan, Mobius, Orbis Tertius https://dirtlease.com/siobhan-mobius-orbis-tertius/ https://dirtlease.com/siobhan-mobius-orbis-tertius/#comments Mon, 16 Dec 2024 14:31:14 +0000 https://dirtlease.com/?p=1781 When the thing happened, the Founder and Legal were drinking in a bar in northern New York called Media Res.  The Founder was telling Legal about Mickey Mouse’s divorce.  ‘So the judge says, ‘You say that your wife is crazy?’’ As he spoke, the Founder smirked. ‘’That is not what I said’, Mickey says’, the …

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]]> https://dirtlease.com/siobhan-mobius-orbis-tertius/feed/ 1 1781 The Gerbil Wheel https://dirtlease.com/the-gerbil-wheel/ Wed, 31 Jul 2024 19:33:06 +0000 https://dirtlease.com/?p=1665 The Founder recently signed up for ketamine therapy.  After the doctor administered the medication, handed the Founder a weighted eye-mask and put on some new-age music, he noticed that the doctor had a scowl, a strong nose, and a closely-trimmed beard.  In his hand, the doctor held a cigar that he swore was really, truly …

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]]> 1665 Only the Dead Know Agrestic Estates https://dirtlease.com/only-the-dead-know-agrestic-estates/ Thu, 11 Jul 2024 16:06:27 +0000 https://dirtlease.com/?p=1654 When Dirtlease first bought its parks, the Founder would post long essays about galvanized water pipe and Orangeburg septic pipe.  Galvanized pipe rusts and corrodes.  Orangeburg, which is tar-infused cardboard, collapses.  The posts were meditations on entropy, memory, perception, and the hidden nature of things.  The way materials would degrade was a proxy for the …

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]]> 1654 Patient Zero https://dirtlease.com/patient-zero/ Wed, 29 May 2024 20:12:14 +0000 https://dirtlease.com/?p=1620 Dirtlease recently called an all-hands meeting to discuss issues of diversity, equity and inclusion in our company.  The meeting was precipitated by the delivery of a report by a team of outside consultants which said that dumbasses are over-represented on our staff.  It is not that dumbasses don’t suffer or have their stories to tell, …

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