‘The Comptroller calls me ‘Tempura’’, the Founder said. He was sitting behind his desk with his hands underneath the keyboard shelf. A large bruise extended from the bridge of his nose to the crow’s feet on his right eye. ‘Why is that’, AP asked. ‘She likes me lightly battered.’ AP threw a side-glance at Operations. …
When the bartender asked the Founder if he wanted another mezcal, he asked her, ‘What’s the chance that that jackdaw you are seeing flies into a window?’ ‘He’s waiting for me at home’, she said. ‘You know how you say ‘jackdaw’ in Czech?’ ‘What’s bothering you?’ She ruffled her tail feathers as she asked. That’s …
Usually, when the Founder sat in the Media Res drinking, he thumbed his phone, but this night was different from all other nights. The phone sat on the bar and the Founder stared at a space behind the mirror that covered the wall behind the bottles of gin, single-malt Scotch and high-end bourbon. It is …
Recently published in The Brussels Review. No Belgian jokes, please.
The Ding an Sich At a table in the back of the Media Res, the Founder sat with a rainbow and a unicorn. ‘Where the hell were you guys in Hamilton’, he asked. ‘I could have used you.’ ‘Dude’, the rainbow said. ‘’There’s two of us. There are how many of you?’ If he had …
Dirt Lease is going global.
Business Insider is a website. Business Insider does not publish writing. Business Insider publishes content. Here are the titles of some articles published on Business Insider: In August, the Founder wrote an article for Business Insider. The article was originally titled, I Left Big Law and Bought a Mobile Home Park. I Work a Quarter …
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The Founder had his feet on the desk and was describing a journey he had recently taken to Legal. ‘The soundtrack is essential’, he said. ‘It guides the experience.’ A commotion broke out on the trading floor. The Baker Brothers, it appeared, had begun to trim their portfolio. They were selling off their smaller parks …
In a Walmart in northern New York, a youngish Black woman recently did a double-take when she saw the Founder. ‘O-My-God’, she said. ‘Hi’, the Founder said. ‘Are you –‘, she said. Her eyes were the size of saucers. The Founder was pleased to see how knowledge of Dirtlease had permeated the community. He always …
When Legal came into the Founder’s office after Labor Day, the Founder stood up to say ‘hi’, bent over the waste paper basket and hurled. Legal turned to leave the office. ‘It’s motion sickness’, the Founder said. ‘Did you go to another ayahuasca retreat’, Legal asked. ‘Could you close the blind, please?’ Legal reached into …