Test Ad
Frank Rolfe recommends that prospective park buyers place a test ad in the local newspaper or Craigslist page to gauge demand for housing in the applicable market. If prospective renters cluster around the ad like fish around chum, the park might be a good bet. If they respond with crickets, you should pass.
My phone recently rang with the same fart-like digeridoo ringtone that I have been meaning to change for over a year. The caller ID said “Illinois”. The voice on the other end was older, white and male. It said,
-Is this the owner of Versailles Estates?
Versailles Estates is my park in central New York.
-How did you get this number?
The caller told me that he and his brother own a park not far from mine. They are both getting on, and want to sell it. He wanted to know if I would be interested in buying. I asked,
-Is that the park between the L and the T in the road coming from I-81? I drive by it every time I go to my park.
-This phone number is on your park’s website.
-I should change that.
The park in question is a crappy little park, in the kind of town you miss if you blink. From the road, it does not have the look of a tightly-run ship. The streets are not paved. The utilities are wells and septics. It’s located in a state with a burdensome regulatory regime. I am not in the market to buy, and real estate prices are due for a correction. However, at the right price, with no money down and nonrecourse financing, anything can work. So, I told the caller “maybe” and put a test ad in the local Craigslist page.
The test ad read as follows:
3 BR 2 BA mobile home for sale or RTO in clean, safe and affordable park near Bethel. $800 per month includes lot rent.
Residential rental real estate is both good business and a policy flashpoint because it is two things at once. To an investor, a dwelling unit is a number on a financial statement. To a tenant, it is home. As light is both a particle and a wave at the same time, an apartment or a mobile home lot is both fungible property and very personal property, depending on your perspective. A roof over your head is important; we make money because we sell a valuable service. I kept track of the responses to the ad by scratching hatch marks on a legal pad. The numbers were good. Frank’s rule of thumb is that you should not buy a park that pulls in less than twenty responses in ten days; this one pulled in more than that in five. But the numbers showed only the tip of the story-iceberg. The content of the messages revealed by turns attention to detail, carelessness, good spelling, bad spelling, good etiquette, shockingly bad manners, good and bad judgment, and more bad than good punctuation. Seferis said that words hold a person’s shape after they die the way trees hold the shape of the wind; many of the responses to the ad bore the imprint of a struggle to make ends meet and a yearning for home.
I placed the ad late in the day on July 7. By July 11, it had pulled in twenty responses. Eighteen of these were received by July 9. Most were sent by women, although some were sent by men using their WOGs’ email addresses. Many of the women appeared to be single mothers. Some evinced red-flag desperation. Here they are:
Melina, July 7, 9:35PM : Im interested. Do you have any pics of the inside
Kaufmann: Sorry. No longer available.
Penelope, July 7, 11:11 PM: Hello! We are a middle age couple looking to RTO. We have no children, just a cat. Can we look at it or see pics?
Kaufmann: Sorry. No longer available.
Danielle, July 8, 12:19 AM: Is this still available? I am very interested in the RTO
Kaufmann: Sorry – no longer available.
Randi, July 8, 2:51 AM: We are very interested please let us know when we can meet to discuss tge mobile home. Thank you
Kaufmann: Sorry – no longer available.
Jamie-Ray, July 8, 10:02 AM: How much would u need up front and are u setting up times for people to come and take a look at the place .
Kaufmann: Sorry – no longer available
Madison, July 8, 11:14 AM: interested in mobile home for rent. my name is Madison, thank you
Kaufmann: Sorry – no longer available
Love, July 8, 11:31 AM: I’m inquiring about the mobile home. What park is it in? How much would the down payment on Rto Thank you
Kaufmann: Sorry – no longer available.
Thomas, July 8, 3:32 PM: Is this still available? If so I’m very interested. My name is Tom Smith you can contact me at XXX XXX XXXX
Kaufmann: Sorry – not available any more.
Kristle, July 8, 3:14 PM: Hi my name is Kristle and I’m interested in your trailer. Can you please send some pictures and is there anything other than lot rent included? Thank you! Hope to hear back soon.
Kaufmann: Sorry – not available any more.
Kristle, July 8, 3:42 PM: Do you have any other properties with that price range? And the same amount for bedrooms?
Maria, July 8, 3:53 PM: hi my name is Agosto Sanchez i am interested in your mobile home for rto please give me a call XXXXXXXXXX
Kaufmann: Sorry – no longer available.
Leavitt, July 8, 8:01 PM: Hello, Are dogs allowed in the park as well?
Kaufmann: Sorry, no.
Jackson, July 8, 10:13 PM: Hey there, could you send pictures? I would be interested, what park is it in? Thanks!
Kaufmann: Sorry – no longer available.
Tamara, July 9, 8:54 AM: Hello my name is Tami im very very interested in your property for sale or rent can u please call me asap XXX XXX XXXX
Kaufmann: Sorry – it has been rented.
Tamara, July 9, 10:28 AM: Ok, thank you for getting back to me. Do u have anything else available or do u know any landlords that have rentals
Sue, July 7, 9:35 PM: I am interested in getting more information on this home and possibly setting up a viewing! Thank you!
Kaufmann: Sue – sorry. It has been rented.
Sue, July 9, 12:34PM: Ok thank you for letting me know!
April, July 9, 1:42 PM: Can we please meet to discuss RTO as well as view the trailer? We do have first and security in hand
Kaufmann: Sorry – it has been rented.
Krystal, July 9, 2:24 PM: still available
Kaufmann: Sorry, no.
Serena, July 9, 7:12 PM: hello my name is Serena. my family needs a place asap. this would be good I have 1000 today and rest this week when it hits the bank. I do have two dog so I am hoping I can have them in the park we are staying with family. we are good, clean people. please consider us. please call or text Serena or Sam. would love to rent to own. if we could schedule a viewing. XXX-XXX-XXXX
Kaufmann: Sorry. It has been rented.
Diana, July 9, 8:12 PM: Good evening my name is Diana and I’m interested in your mobile home you have for RTO and would love to set up a time to view I can tell you a little about my self I have two children and boyfriend that would be moving inn with me we both work full time jobs in ephrata and not sure on your pet policy for ur trailer and the park but I do have 3 cats all fixed very well maintained
Kaufmann: Sorry – it has been rented.
Simply, July 9, 9:39 PM: Hello, my name is Mandi. I am interested in the place posted on Craigslist. Is this still available? If so, could I set up a time with you to come see it? I’m available Sunday evening after like 6, Monday, Wednesday and Thursday after 530 p.m. I am also available via text at XXX XXX XXXX. Thank you for your time.
Kaufmann: Sorry – it has been rented.
Queenie, July 11, 2:52 PM: Hello I would really like to talk to you about the mobile home that you have I would have to do rent to own as I’m a single mom with children their father is deceased so just be me and the children I am looking for someplace to stay long-term so it would be perfect. I grew up in the driving to school district out in Salem and I loved it out there and the country is a great place to raise children. I am ready to move as soon as possible and the person that I rented from died and their family put the townhouse I have for sale and it sold very quickly. So they are trying to get me out so that they can move in. And I would absolutely love a chance to live back out there again. Whenever it’s available I would be available to move in as I live very close to Darcy right now and it’s a very bad place to raise my children. I have no lease due to the circumstances it’s just that the people that bought it are waiting to move in and the sooner I move out they can move in and everyone will be happy My phone number is XXX-XXX-XXXX you can text me your phone number and I’ll call you back as soon as this phone doesn’t ring right. My name is Queenie and I look forward to talking to you
Kaufmann: Queenie – sorry. It has been rented.
Queenie, July 12, 11:23 PM If something happens and it falls through please think of me as I would love to be back out there XXX-XXX-XXXX My name is Queenie thank you
Ali, July 12, 3:15 PM: Hello is this still available? I’m very interested and would love to come check it out as I’m finding a place for my fiance son and I to live and we would love to come view the place! You can give me a call at XXXXXXXXXX! Thank you very much, ali!
Kaufmann: Sorry – no longer available.
Because of the condition of the park’s infrastructure, I can only make the numbers work with a lowball price and exceptionally good terms. The depth of demand is a plus. I can’t help applicants with their need for economic stability and yearning for home. That’s above my pay-grade. That should be addressed by well-crafted social programs, clergy, therapists, service animals, rental insurance, and, maybe, self-reliance and bootstraps. My job is just to run a clean cat-house
I am glad to see I am not the only park with top grade applicants.
Hah!