When Legal came into the office, the Founder had his feet on the desk and a grin on his face. ‘Looks like someone got some last night’, Legal said. ‘Look at this’, the Founder said. He crackled the papers of a high-brow tabloid read primarily by educated Jews on the Upper West Side of Manhattan. …
The Founder showed up to the Dirtlease offices on a Monday morning mosquito-bitten, emaciated and fevered. He took a cup of coffee and a thermos of green tea, walked to the corner office, closed the door, and collapsed on the couch. ‘Holy fuck’, Legal said. ‘That is Voodoo economics in action’, Economics said. ‘You don’t …
When the Founder showed up at the Dirtlease office wearing wrap around shades and a baseball cap pulled low over his face, people spoke. He exited the elevator, walked straight to his office, shut the door and turned his back on the floor without even grunting when his assistant asked him how he was. The …
The rich landowner’s daughter sat next to her father and smiled as the Founder ordered a Guiness for himself and the landowner, a limoncello for the landowner’s wife and a fizzy water for the daughter. The daughter had blond hair, greenish eyes and a strong jaw. She could be from Minnesota, the Founder thought. She …
When the Founder convened Dirtlease staff at a bunker in an undisclosed location recently, DEI protested that women had been underrepresented in the process of fortifying the walls. ‘Fuck off’, Operations explained. ‘The contract was awarded to the lowest bidder. Anyhow, I was drunk and the wench is dead’. ‘I am going to flee Gilead’, …
‘You remember the Meister Brau commercial where the agent tells the movie star that the studios aren’t calling back, the ex-wife has taken him to the cleaners, and the only luxury he can afford is Meister Brau’, the Founder asked Legal. He picked a large bottle of Taiwan Beer off the table and filled the …
Separated at Birth? Legal did not like the mandatory Wednesday poker games that the Founder instituted after the Bull requiring Dirtlease staff to return to the office went out. The faux swinging doors and tinny player piano music grated. He did not like the smug look on the Founder’s face or the way Marketing chattered …
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A representative of DOPE visited the Founder in the bughouse recently. The Founder was wrapped in a straitjacket, sitting in his padded room, looking through the bars of the window at the Hudson. ‘It’s a lovely view’, he told DOPE. ‘I can’t see this this from my home. Do you remember the joke about Jesus …
At Dirtlease headquarters, the morning of June 27th was clear and sunny, with the smell of New Jersey in the air. In the break room, the bean bag chairs were occupied, the red lights were at their dimmest, and someone had taken all the fidget spinners from the bucket near the door. Sharp objects and …
. On the trading floor, a young guy shouted, ‘Clayton at the figure! Fill or kill! Clayton at the figure, Fill or Kill!’ The head of a heavy Indian trader with a double chin popped up above the warren of monitors. ‘Whose buying man’, he shouted. ‘Paper’, the first guy said. ‘Fuck off’, the second …