The Eighth Circle A man with slack facial skin, a paunch, blond hair, blue eyes, a square jaw and a ski-jump nose stood smiling and rubbing his hands together next to a row of hang gliders perched on top of a cliff. A reptile tail protruded from the seat of his pants. ‘What the fuck’, …
The Seventh Circle At the entrance to the next section, an officious-looking woman with a Canadian accent asked Vergil and the Founder if they were carrying any weapons. They were not. Did they know what a weapon was, the woman asked. Knives, firearms, pepper spray, brass knuckles, ice picks, cattle prods, bear repellant, e.g. This …
The Sixth Circle The boatman had a thin face, a dewlap and a pencil-thin moustache, and he paddled his boat with a Greenland stick. When he saw Vergil and the Founder standing on the bank, he whirled the paddle and made a wake that oscillated off both banks of the river. But when he saw …
The Fourth and Fifth circles ‘I thought Pluto was an exoplanet’, the Founder said. ‘This guy looks like the town judge in Romulus.’ The guy did, in fact, look like the Romulus town judge. He was sixty years old, as wide as he was tall, with no neck and IT tech glasses. The difference was …
The Second Circle A large man with a shaven skull a stood in the doorway to the next level. ‘Stand on the scale’, he said. ‘I don’t have all day.’ ‘Kiss my ass, Minos’, Vergil said. ‘You have eternity.’ Minos narrowed his eyes and blocked the opening. ‘The man’s a prospie’, Vergil said. ‘Stand aside’. …
The Founder recently visited a pork store in New Jersey. Inscribed on the lintel above the entrance door, he read Lasciate ogne speranza, voi ch’intrate. When he entered, a large man with a thick neck was standing behind the counter, wiping a knife blade. ‘Sorry’, the Founder said. ‘Do you have a bathroom for customers? …
The Dirtlease Group has entered into a consortium with Pango Books. Each time a Dirtlease reader clicks on the Dirtlease Ambassador Page at Pango Books, they receive $5 off their first purchase of $20 or more. Pango Books is a marketplace that allows users to buy and sell used books and book paraphernalia. The have …
[1] The author is indebted to Michael Perehinec for invaluable advice regarding the New York State Good Cause Eviction law. Any mistakes herein are solely the author’s. The Founder and Legal recently travelled to Oregon to consult with the Oracle at Klamath. Getting off the plane at PDX, the Founder tried to catch the eye …
The Founder recently went looking for the Leader of Spiritual Architecture for the Dirtlease Group. Spiritual Architecture is housed in an out-of-the-way office in the Bosworth Building on the main Dirtlease campus, next to Human Resources. It used to be called the Psychology Department. The name was changed during a re-branding initiative in the late …
Mike, the manager at the Dirtlease park in northern New York, recently told the Founder that Mike’s Amish neighbor had asked him if he wanted to have sex with his wife. ‘The feck you say’, the Founder said. ‘Why?’ ‘He said that they were so inbred that they needed new DNA, and he wanted me …