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Psychiatry by Other Means

The Founder recently went looking for the Leader of Spiritual Architecture for the Dirtlease Group.  Spiritual Architecture is housed in an out-of-the-way office in the Bosworth Building on the main Dirtlease campus, next to Human Resources.  It used to be called the Psychology Department.  The name was changed during a re-branding initiative in the late …

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Shrinkflation

Mike, the manager at the Dirtlease park in northern New York, recently told the Founder that Mike’s Amish neighbor had asked him if he wanted to have sex with his wife. ‘The feck you say’, the Founder said.  ‘Why?’ ‘He said that they were so inbred that they needed new DNA, and he wanted me …

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The Gerbil Wheel

The Founder recently signed up for ketamine therapy.  After the doctor administered the medication, handed the Founder a weighted eye-mask and put on some new-age music, he noticed that the doctor had a scowl, a strong nose, and a closely-trimmed beard.  In his hand, the doctor held a cigar that he swore was really, truly …

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Cat Litter

When the Founder travelled to the Dirtlease park in northern New York recently, Mike, the manager, told him, ‘You know they are putting cat litter boxes in schools now?’ When Mike said that, the Founder was standing in a ditch next to Mike’s helper, Bob.  The three of them were digging up some ground to …

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Banned in Boson

Banned in Boston The first book to be banned in Boston was The Meritorious Price of Our Redemption, written in 1650 by William Pynchon (1590-1662), a distant ancestor of Thomas Pynchon and the first European settler of Springfield, MA.  In the book, Pynchon argued that the price of atonement was obedience, rather than punishment and …

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Patient Zero

Dirtlease recently called an all-hands meeting to discuss issues of diversity, equity and inclusion in our company.  The meeting was precipitated by the delivery of a report by a team of outside consultants which said that dumbasses are over-represented on our staff.  It is not that dumbasses don’t suffer or have their stories to tell, …

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