Mike, the manager at the Dirtlease park in northern New York, recently told the Founder that Mike’s Amish neighbor had asked him if he wanted to have sex with his wife. ‘The feck you say’, the Founder said. ‘Why?’ ‘He said that they were so inbred that they needed new DNA, and he wanted me …
The Founder recently signed up for ketamine therapy. After the doctor administered the medication, handed the Founder a weighted eye-mask and put on some new-age music, he noticed that the doctor had a scowl, a strong nose, and a closely-trimmed beard. In his hand, the doctor held a cigar that he swore was really, truly …
When Dirtlease first bought its parks, the Founder would post long essays about galvanized water pipe and Orangeburg septic pipe. Galvanized pipe rusts and corrodes. Orangeburg, which is tar-infused cardboard, collapses. The posts were meditations on entropy, memory, perception, and the hidden nature of things. The way materials would degrade was a proxy for the …
A bill recently proposed in the Delaware state legislature was discussed in the latest Zoom call held by the Dirt Lease executive committee. After the Founder put it up on the screen, the Brady Bunch quieted down and read. The COO moved his lips. The General Counsel frowned. HR pursed her lips and nudged …
When the Founder travelled to the Dirtlease park in northern New York recently, Mike, the manager, told him, ‘You know they are putting cat litter boxes in schools now?’ When Mike said that, the Founder was standing in a ditch next to Mike’s helper, Bob. The three of them were digging up some ground to …
Banned in Boston The first book to be banned in Boston was The Meritorious Price of Our Redemption, written in 1650 by William Pynchon (1590-1662), a distant ancestor of Thomas Pynchon and the first European settler of Springfield, MA. In the book, Pynchon argued that the price of atonement was obedience, rather than punishment and …
Dirtlease recently called an all-hands meeting to discuss issues of diversity, equity and inclusion in our company. The meeting was precipitated by the delivery of a report by a team of outside consultants which said that dumbasses are over-represented on our staff. It is not that dumbasses don’t suffer or have their stories to tell, …
. Late antiquity, Asia Minor. The residents of a manufactured housing community are gathered near the entrance to the park. [1] . What are we waiting for, assembled in front of the mailboxes? [2] Rent control legislation is due today.[3] . Why isn’t anything going on in the office?Why have people stopped mowing their lawns? …
When the Dirtlease COO was abducted by aliens last week, he felt cool air and saw a shadow overhead. Thinking that the vehicle behind him wanted to pass, he rolled down his window, stuck out his hand and beckoned. If it was the cops, he hoped that they would not see the can of Shiner …
. Last week, I went up to the park to see the eclipse. I avoided the viewing event put on by the town in the local park. Instead, I observed it from a hunting platform a resident has set up on the undeveloped land behind the park. On the way up to the back lot, …